My motto the last five years or so (or, more accurately, God’s motto for me) has been “be uncomfortable.” There’s a lot that has caused me to move out of my comfort zone, there has been a lot that God has called me out to do. This has been a challenge for me in many ways, mainly because I’m introverted. I’m an Enneagram 9, with a 1 wing. That means that while I see things from all perspectives, I don’t like to be confrontational. I have thoughts, but sometimes have trouble expressing them or I don’t really even know how to express them. I also can’t react to information right away since I have to process things. So, the whole “Christian leader” thing where we get out and stand in front is hard.
Do you ever struggle with Gods calling? Big or small, do you struggle with stepping out and listening to His command?
I feel comfortable in the background, and usually only like to speak up if asked a question. Before kids and COVID, I used to have breakfast with a couple of my really close friends every Friday, and I remember feeling overwhelmed sometimes when meeting with them. Not because they wouldn’t listen to me, but because speaking my mind and offering my opinion is so difficult for me. We would talk about family life, work, and church, and I loved it. We had great talks, and my friends challenged me and prayed for me and gave me advice. I just always had a hard time feeling comfortable.
So, of course, as any sinful man might, I asked God, “WHY!? Why do you want me to get out of my comfort zone? Why do you want me to fight against my natural self?” I used to say, “God, you did make me this way, remember?”
I was reading my Bible, searching for answers, and I came across Hebrews 11. Hebrews has always been interesting to me because we don’t know who wrote it. A lot of people think it’s a letter from Paul, but other people think Luke, Apollos, or Barnabas could have written it, although there is no conclusive evidence pointing to anyone. Hebrew’s overall theme is Jesus: He is above all things, and we have better lives and more purpose because of Him and His Salvation.
The reason Hebrews 11 stood out to me is because it lists all these “by faith” statements. Why do I need to step out of my comfort zone, when I can’t see the benefit or the outcome? Hebrews 11:3 says by faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. What is seen was not made out of what is visible. That really got to me. I’m so worried about the why, and the results, but I need to worry about the action, the obedience, the faith. And so, for me, I came to realization that a lot of my answer to why God was pushing me out of my comfort zone is faith and trusting in God. Because I need to learn to trust in what I don’t see.
On the topic of being pushed beyond what is comfortable for me, I delivered my first Sunday morning message a few weeks ago. I never thought in a million years that I would ever do that. The idea of getting up on stage and talking in a mic terrified me! But preaching led me to look down the line of things I’m doing now that a few years ago I would have never seen myself doing. To just name a few things, writing this blog, leading a small group, playing bass, singing on stage, and doing announcements at church. These are things that if you told me, I would be doing three years ago, I would have said you were crazy. I didn’t want to do those things. But God calls, so I need to be obedient.
In my message about the Good Shepherd, I talked about how we aren’t that far off from the Pharisees. In John chapter 10, Jesus and the Pharisees go back in forth about who Jesus is. It reminded me a lot of my back and forth with God. The Pharisees try to twist His words and use the Law to disprove who Jesus is—and sometimes we do the same thing. We try to make our opinions matter more than they should, we try and act like we have it all figured out. Jesus is calling us, but we don’t trust in him. That’s why reading the Bible and praying and asking questions are so vital to our growth and faith. We doubt what we can’t see, we doubt the uncomfortable, and engaging God through those practices brings us closer to Him and makes growth just a bit easier.
Sometimes I feel God has such an interesting way of doing things. For the most part the things He commands us make sense, but for some reason I never want to do them. It’s so interesting how we naturally want to fight what He tells us. I don’t know what God is telling you. Maybe it’s to pray more, to seek a new career, consider adoption, serve at your local church, or something else entirely. Maybe you can’t see the final outcome or understand how what you’re being called to do could possibly work. But remember Hebrews 11:3: what is seen was not made from what is visible. Trusting and being faithful will show you the outcome.